Friday, October 17, 2008

Tormented Soul...

My pen came along, came along...
wondering of what has gone wrong?
Have you grown weak?
Gave up on everything and everyone…
you've forgotten your heart,
forgotten your dreams,
forgotten all that is around you… you even forgot me!!

You've left me on that blank pale paper;
out in the forgotten days…
you've left me,
after I had been your only friend at the darkest hour
I, who was faithful in the time of betrayal and deception

What shall I say; I've left you, my only friend
so I wouldn't burden you with the pain burdening me.
All the friends have gone away,
and my heart took an eternal nap
no one to wake him, no one to save him…
burnt in the furnace of pain till it turned black
My back is filled with stabs of betrayal
I have no way of leaning to rest…
My world has no cheers;
my life has nothing but pain

My own self is blaming me for what I've done,
"why don't you sleep?"
-And it doesn't know that it is the sleep that has abandoned me-
nothing is left in you of what used to!!

So tell me, what should I say?
that's a betraying lover,
that's a backstabbing friend
and that's a life where I no longer belong…
Even you "my only friend"...
if it wasn't for your boredom, and the ink shivering in your heart,
you wouldn't have asked why I have left you…
Nothing is what seems to be,
all has changed…
honesty, love, and emotions
even the rain drops have changed their colors…
Truth got stained with the colors of lies,
love threw away its purity,
and all true emotions have faded away…

Darkness closes in from every corner,
life is running fast…
and I'm forgotten in the margins of time…

Even fate played his dark game with me,
and withheld its cards from my sights,
left me all alone…
anger no longer helps,
the sense of oppression has conquered my beliefs,
brought the frozen cold to the warmth of me…

Even the North star, in the lonesome of its solitude…
has the moon to keep company, while I'm left all alone
tears have all dried up,
and my patience grew sick of my patience …
silence is yelling in the depth of my thoughts !!
Speak up!! Hold it in no more!!

All those which have crowded your mind,
aching all the time… let them see the light… speak up !!

So my dearest pen,
Do u blame me for being loyal in a time where loyalty is no longer there…
I kept you away from my sorrows;
I didn't want to tell you,
no... I didn't want to tell

I've grown sick of life
grown sick of lies,
grown sick of the burns of cold in my heart…
so do you find the words to say?

My evening candle was blown out by the winter wind,
and the leaves of my life have been scattered by the hands of time…
so do as all has done,
close your eyes…
deafen your ears from my sorrows,
turn your back on me

I'm no longer the one I used to be,
I've walked away from a life that walked away from me…
leave me to my sorrows, leave me to my broken thoughts,
leave me to the smoke of my pain…

My coffee got cold,
my patience grew old…
it's time to rest
in a darkness that my days got used to,
in a cold that my heart lives in…
in a lonesome peace, like a deserted desert…

The soul has faded away… Vanished… No blame…

Friday, August 1, 2008

It's a crisis…

We live in a changing world, and it's getting smaller, more and more, day by day. Still, despite our greater interaction, there are people who don't understand that the only way we can all live with together in this world is summed up in one single word "coexistence".

When I take a brief look at the state of the world nowadays, I find that it's torn apart by wars and conflicts, most of whom are – sadly – based on ideological grounds. So the question I ask is, why?

Now, this might seem like a simple question with an easy answer, but below the surface, it is anything but that. Embedded deeply in our subconscious is the belief that all that is different from what we are is wrong - not just another perspective or concept, but simply wrong. And based on this reason, we find that people are obsessed with the idea of a 'war of civilizations' or a war of cultures and religions.

As a Palestinian and a Muslim, I really do not have a problem with Jews as Jews – contrary to what some might claim - and I don't see the conflict as a religious war against Jews. But I do have a problem with the Israeli practices on my land. I have a problem with the concept of taking over my land and kicking away its people in the name of a religion. I also have a problem with killing people in the name of religion, imprisoning people in the name of religion. That I do have a problem with.

For you to understand why I think this, and for me to prove my point, we have to go back all the way to the year of 1897 when the idea of establishing a national state for the Jews of the world was first agreed upon. Look back at this year and remember that by then there had been no World War, there had been no Nazi Holocaust!

And more, Palestine was not the only country suggested for this national state only for Jews, Uganda and Argentina were also considered. So then why Palestine? In order to convince the Jews of the world to leave everything behind and start all over somewhere else, you have to give a good reason. And what better of a reason than playing the card of religion!

Why were the crusades fought under the name of the cross? Why are people being killed in the name of Islam? Who has the right to manipulate people's minds using the words of the maker or the Holy texts of a certain religion? That is our problem. Sick minded people who interpret their own religion in the way that suits their needs.

This is a plea I make to the pure hearts all over the world: 'Keep religions away from politics.' No matter what you believe in, whether it is a religion or not. No matter what you choose to name your maker, no matter how you choose to worship; we all agree that there is a common good, we all believe that there is something just, we all agree on what is beautiful.

All the religious differences people have in this world are nothing but a cloak of semantics. Religion is the cover under which soldiers are sent around the world to kill another human being just like them. Look at the way Bush tells his soldiers the people they are attacking are 'evil 'and do not have God on their side (well, not his Christian God anyway). And the way the media only focuses on 'Islamist terrorism' as if this is the only religion being used to justify a conflict – what about the terrorizing of people in the name of Judaism back in 1948 and until now?

So let's all shed our masks and take a good look at one another: we will see all that we have in common and build on it, for the benefit of you, me and everybody else.

I would like to conclude with this wise saying and ask you to please notice the date when it was told. Is it not a shame that we, as the same human race that lived 2,000 years ago, have not yet reached this point?

" One should not honour only one's own religion and condemn the religions of others, but one should honour others' religions for this or that reason. So doing, one helps one's own religion to grow and renders service to the religions of others too. In acting otherwise one digs the grave of one's own religion and also does harm to other religions. Whosoever honours his own religion and condemns other religions, does so indeed through devotion to his own religion, thinking "I will glorify my own religion." But on the contrary, in so doing he injures his own religion more gravely. So concord is good: Let all listen, and be willing to listen to the doctrines professed by others. "

( Emperor Asoka of India, 3rd century B.C )

Thursday, June 5, 2008

In Jerusalem, once again …

Being in Jerusalem gives you that chill down your spine that no other place gives, nothing in that city is normal… everything is Just ultra special.. you can sense time stopped for a while and just gave everything that old never ending scent that you can’t describe… The colours… the sounds… the people… the history… the spirituality just takes you away… like no other that’s all you can say.

Being in Jerusalem once again was like a dream come true, me being a young Palestinian made it extremely difficult to get into my own most beloved city which is under the Israeli control. I can’t simply get my things and say I want to go, that used to be in the good old days. Now it’s a process of applying to permits from the Israeli side and praying to god they will give one to you. My last visit was on May 21st 2007… over a year ago…

Once you get into Jerusalem… you forget all the pains in the world… you forget all the aches in your mind, heart and soul… walking through the winding roads of the old city… with all those colours and scents rising like a portrait of surreal feelings that overwhelms you like a warm blanket of light on the darkest coldest night.


There is something indescribable about Jerusalem… It just not any place… it’s the place I’d chose to spend every minute of every day in. if I could only be a “Maqdesi” a son of Jerusalem.. just that is enough for me… walk the yards of Al Aqsa in the hours of day breaking … to see the sun become two on that golden dome… to get to the heights of heights as I let my eyes gaze the icons of the Church of Holy Sepulcher… that silhouette of dark and light…

If I could only be… a son of Jerusalem… a stone in the walls of Jerusalem… to live in the dream of Jerusalem… nothing more, it’s all I’ll ever ask for…

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Time and Pressure ...

A million angels heard my cry, a million angels can’t put back the pieces of that broken heart… every piece of the puzzle is missing… and the full picture is lost.. What makes us what we are?? I do believe that one’s life forms him like a sculpture shapes his art… each stroke that cuts deep into us helps to take us a further step towards what we are meant to be…

But to truly reach the final stage… when an unshaped piece of rock becomes a piece of pure art, it has to stand the test of time… that’s all you need actually… a simple test of pressure and time…

But then again … who can stand the test of time… who wouldn’t crack with all the changes that rock us every single moment of our lives… those cold moments… Those passionate moments… And the grey area in between … that empty space… that silence… that darkness… and a walk in the warmth in the sun …

Wouldn’t you just cry and beg for those painful strokes to stop!! Leave me be!! A simple unshaped rock… like all the rest… nothing special… nothing out of the ordinary… special is over rated some might say…

Through the wind and rain… butterflies and rainbows… Dreams and nightmares… the tender touch… and cruel lonely nights… those strokes will rock your world… will make you scream… will make you cry… and those occasional laughters… that feeling we all go through… that you’ve lost control… but to have it all… you have to go through it all… time and pressure… that’s what it takes … that’s all it takes …

Thursday, May 15, 2008

60 years and counting...

May 15th 2008 ... That’s what the calendar told me when I woke up this morning, it felt like any given Thursday, nothing felt new, strange, or out of the usual. But today is a very special day.
60 years ago in the dark year of 1948, and just like today,, it was the day that changed the lives of the people of the Middle East all in all… It’s the day of what we Palestinians refer to as “An-Nakba” which means “The Catastrophe”. To the Israeli’s “they didn’t exist before that day” it was their most sacred most special day of all special days ,, the day they had their independent state, “The State of Israel”.



How strange that is, an entire population is murdered, raped and forced out of their land. While others take over and start their own, and then , that’s called “Independence”. Over 700,000 Palestinians were forced out of their homes and land into their “up till now” unknown future, two thirds of the Palestinians were made homeless, never mind the countless massacres and complete towns and villages vanishing from the face of the earth… That’s called “Independence”.

Now what until this moment I can’t fully understand is this. All this was done under the excuse of escaping unfairness, injustice and persecution. If you or anybody else can phrase that in a way that could make sense to me, then please do.

It wasn’t us the Palestinians who harmed the Jews of Europe, it wasn’t us who chased, killed and tortured them. Then why are we the ones to pay for it? Why does the entire world stand still and watches the ongoing “Nakba” of the Palestinian people? Over 4.5 million Palestinians still live in refugee camps, in conditions that no human can endure… What was their crime you might ask? They were and still are “Palestinians”.



That was the crime they were found guilty of charge, to be born Palestinian… that’s why we have to pay the price of the crime we did not have any part of.

Now if you find all that to be a little bit awkward or maybe strange, here is the enigma … all of this misery brought to the Palestinians, throughout the last 60 years, was on the hands of the people who were escaping the same injustice. The Jews of Europe came to Palestine fleeing what was being unfairly done to them. Now they didn’t just come and say “can we live among you?” I really doubt that request was actually offered to the people of Palestine. No, they came in and practiced the same injustice on innocent people who are still up until now after 60 years of darkness, screaming for the world to hear the cry of the truth. But then it seems that the world have turned deaf… 60 years of showing the world the crimes that they have been victims of. But then again the world seems to be blind.

60 years of total silence, nothing said, nothing done. When will the light of justice bring it’s warmth to the dying conscious of the world…

To Whom It May Concern...

To whom it may concern,

To whom it may concern, I’m a human being, I’m a Muslim, I’m a Christian, I’m a Jew, I’m a Buddhist and I’m a Hindu. I’m a human being…

To whom it may concern,
I'm a human being, I’m Black, I’m white, I’m yellow, I’m red, I’m in every color there is. I’m a human being…

To whom it may concern,
I’m a human being, I cry and I bleed. I sweat, and I do feel pain when you hurt me. I’m a human being …

To whom it may concern,
I’m a human being, I get hungry when there is no food in my stomach, and thirsty when there is no water to run down my throat, and I do get lonely when I’m left on my own. I’m a human being …

To whom it may concern,
I’m a human being, I do get cold when I’m left under the pouring rain, and I do get hot when there is no shelter to hide me from the burning sun. I’m a human being …

To whom it may concern,
I'm a human being, the moon that shines in your darkest night shines bright in mine as well, the sun that light your days burns in my sky as well ,, even that wind you breath, runs deep into my lungs. I'm a human being...

Even if you don’t like it, I am a human being… just like you.

Qossay Abu-Zaitoun

The old city of Nablus...