Friday, October 17, 2008

Tormented Soul...

My pen came along, came along...
wondering of what has gone wrong?
Have you grown weak?
Gave up on everything and everyone…
you've forgotten your heart,
forgotten your dreams,
forgotten all that is around you… you even forgot me!!

You've left me on that blank pale paper;
out in the forgotten days…
you've left me,
after I had been your only friend at the darkest hour
I, who was faithful in the time of betrayal and deception

What shall I say; I've left you, my only friend
so I wouldn't burden you with the pain burdening me.
All the friends have gone away,
and my heart took an eternal nap
no one to wake him, no one to save him…
burnt in the furnace of pain till it turned black
My back is filled with stabs of betrayal
I have no way of leaning to rest…
My world has no cheers;
my life has nothing but pain

My own self is blaming me for what I've done,
"why don't you sleep?"
-And it doesn't know that it is the sleep that has abandoned me-
nothing is left in you of what used to!!

So tell me, what should I say?
that's a betraying lover,
that's a backstabbing friend
and that's a life where I no longer belong…
Even you "my only friend"...
if it wasn't for your boredom, and the ink shivering in your heart,
you wouldn't have asked why I have left you…
Nothing is what seems to be,
all has changed…
honesty, love, and emotions
even the rain drops have changed their colors…
Truth got stained with the colors of lies,
love threw away its purity,
and all true emotions have faded away…

Darkness closes in from every corner,
life is running fast…
and I'm forgotten in the margins of time…

Even fate played his dark game with me,
and withheld its cards from my sights,
left me all alone…
anger no longer helps,
the sense of oppression has conquered my beliefs,
brought the frozen cold to the warmth of me…

Even the North star, in the lonesome of its solitude…
has the moon to keep company, while I'm left all alone
tears have all dried up,
and my patience grew sick of my patience …
silence is yelling in the depth of my thoughts !!
Speak up!! Hold it in no more!!

All those which have crowded your mind,
aching all the time… let them see the light… speak up !!

So my dearest pen,
Do u blame me for being loyal in a time where loyalty is no longer there…
I kept you away from my sorrows;
I didn't want to tell you,
no... I didn't want to tell

I've grown sick of life
grown sick of lies,
grown sick of the burns of cold in my heart…
so do you find the words to say?

My evening candle was blown out by the winter wind,
and the leaves of my life have been scattered by the hands of time…
so do as all has done,
close your eyes…
deafen your ears from my sorrows,
turn your back on me

I'm no longer the one I used to be,
I've walked away from a life that walked away from me…
leave me to my sorrows, leave me to my broken thoughts,
leave me to the smoke of my pain…

My coffee got cold,
my patience grew old…
it's time to rest
in a darkness that my days got used to,
in a cold that my heart lives in…
in a lonesome peace, like a deserted desert…

The soul has faded away… Vanished… No blame…

2 comments:

HiL said...

wow. i really felt the pain, vulnerability, and frustration in the first poem. i love the way you use your words!

Palestinian Superman said...

only a bleeding heart can understand a bleeding heart... only a lonely soul can understand it all.. the deafening silence have spoken through your pen... and I who never counted from one to ten, before I spoke, I say: you are going through the Dark Night of the Soul, and I pray that you will reach to the other side and we stand side by side looking back at the scenes of battles we fought...
Thank you Mr. Q for sharing this with me... amazingly painful, yet sweet... like the wounds you sustain in the search for truth... go one with enlightened pride... you are a proud warrior and do not give up your sword or pen...

All the Love,
Saed, Sindbad, the Spiritual Nomad


The old city of Nablus...